the girly who shall end all girls

( symptom tracking ) i was hoping to go to the work holiday party tomorrow, that's not happening.

i've been enjoying listening to A More Civilized Age while i've been low-energy. it was recommended for their Andor watch, but i haven't gotten there yet, as i've been dipping in and out of their Clone Wars discussions. they discuss arcs rather than individual episodes, which is a great way to watch the show. they're also almost entirely unspoiled, so it's delightful to listen to them react and pick up details. my favorite thus far is their discussion of the public art on Mandalore, which prominently features a warrior holding up a severed head. i don't always agree with them but i do find their observations interesting and it's a fresh look at familiar content.

( health update )but there have also been some nice moments. i normally take a bath before bed, and during this time most evenings C uses my water when i'm done. (he is not a Bath Person when he is healthy.) i hang out in the bathroom and we talk a little, and then i read him some lightweight Star Wars fanfic while he soaks.

so here's the sick partner rec list so far:
Operation: Secret Girlfriend (10887 words) by SendPseuds( Read more... )
^ I think you have to have seen The Clone Wars episode Voyage of Temptation for this one to land properly. Regardless, chapter two is *chef's kiss*

Flowers for the Emperor (7642 words) by Fialleril( Read more... )
^ this is from a series that I highly recommend, but stands alone nicely.

Ghastly, revolting, mind numbing... happiness (4369 words) by WhatisWithin( Read more... )

PRojects IN Controlled Environments, version Sith (5192 words) by Beth Winter( Read more... )
^ this one works even with the lightest ambient pop-culture awareness of Star Wars.

Drinks with Friends (8338 words) by SendPseuds( Read more... )
^ this one references events from a series of explicit year-on-the-run fics* but is a funny slice-of-life; C enjoyed it as a standalone but if you like het porn with plot/feelings i recommend starting the series from the beginning.




* let me sum up: there is a whole world of fiction built on events referenced in a handful of episodes from The Clone Wars where we meet Obi-Wan's ex, the Duchess of Mandalore (who fans of The Mandalorian may know as Bo-Katan's sister). pretty sure you could enjoy the story without having seen any of The Clone Wars; it's young Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon on an extended mission during a civil war.

i never did test positive for covid, and today was C's second negative test after 48 hours. no one who was exposed to C has gotten sick. he had some bad days but is doing well now; we're continuing to avoid humans for the rest of the week but i feel pretty good about continuing with our Thanksgiving plans on Thursday. *whew*

***

Greg Bear passed away yesterday as has been reported widely in SF fandom. because Seattle is the world's biggest small town, i was fortunate enough to know Greg and his wife Astrid personally, and to have shared some fine meals and great conversations in their lovely home. Greg was unfailingly warm and kind and a remarkable raconteur, and a bottomless well of information on a variety of topics. he also gave the world a strong body of work* and helped to found SDCC. he is missed.

***

watched the first game of the 2022 World Cup today. i hate everything about it (the corrupt bid, the dead and imprisoned migrant workers, the life-threatening heat, the terrifying laws there, etc. etc. etc.) except for the part where we're going to get to watch USA vs England on Black Friday and i am definitely all CARS AND FREEDOM about it.

only one member of the US squad has previous World Cup experience, local kid DeAndre Yedlin. i'm still angry about the US flaming out in qualifiers last cycle, because they weren't in the final World Cup my father-in-law was able to see. there's no fucking justice. since the last time i saw D alive was during the last tournament i had some big feelings today and maybe i always will when the World Cup comes around.

***

i'm feeling pretty stressed lately between the above and work being bonkers, but two things are proving to be great distractions: Andor** and Cult of the Lamb. the latter so much so that i'm giving myself some RSI from all the Xbox controller time. someone on my reading list mentioned playing in passing; thanks to you and Honest Game Trailers for introducing me to this perverse delight. when i can't control anything else in my life, i can still kill demons and make someone eat poop.







*why did i never get him to sign my copy of Blood Music? it just felt weird to me although i'm sure it wouldn't have been

**needs its own post. not sure if Andy Serkis or Stellan Skarsgard deserves an Emmy more

Wrote a “hello world” (plus a lot more because I can’t stop myself) Slack bot tonight. hardest part was that it’s easy to come up with documentation and tutorials that are deprecated. looking forward to digging into this more, it’s a delight.

SIFF is in April this year and I don’t know what to do. sitting in theaters full of unmasked people every day for a couple weeks, two to six hours a day plus queuing and transit rides doesn’t feel good to me. There are still streaming options but that was depressing last time. Maybe I restrict myself to a six pack (that still feels like a lot) at the Bay where I know they have modern ventilation and UV above screen level. I hate weighing this out.

We did hybrid local/online Friday night game and it was delightful. pirate B was in our house!
the conference mike/cam worked well!
we rolled dice!
we used a real deck of cards (the camera was focused on the table to show them)!
B's laptop battery lasted the full session!
we will do it again!




also, we had "natural" cheetos for the first time in almost two years. we don't buy them ourselves, only our friends can buy them and we eat what they share. they are still an addictively delicious snack.

2021 was A Year. American democracy almost died, my father and brother-in-law did die, we got vaccinated but ultimately it didn't change our lives enough. (it did, a bit - we did get to see friends again, a couple soccer games, a few movies, some meals out...but then delta.) i ended up in four RPGs (multiple campaigns, but a consistent four games across three groups of gamers). we stayed on two more of the San Juans. i got serious about fountain pens again.

not previously chronicled here:

• Mom started dating (that's okay) a racist anti-vaxxer (FUCK NO). i told her how i felt about that person before things got where they are. it wrecked me for a while, but due to distance i can easily avoid any interaction with that piece of shit. she's had a horrible several years so i'm not going to have a fight about it. that said, i'm sending Mom an "in honor of Dad's Name" card for every donation i make to SPLC until it ends.


• I had increasing problems with concentration and executive function as the year wore on. I've been on some drugs for almost two months; I feel like I'm doing better and C says he sees the change as well.

January
"finally caught up on John Wick tonight (only recently did we agree that home video with lots of cuddles and the ability to pause would allow C to get through the wife and dog death in the first film)."
Jan 6 terrified me
I made a Helsinki Complaint Choir ringtone (which still delights me)
I watched the presidential inauguration and it was nice
We ordered a bunch of new sheets
Everyone was into sea shanties
Leela was attacked by an off-leash dog

February
"i have to deliver a presentation themed on "a day in the life" tomorrow."
I started having four RPGs in flight at once.
We had snow (always remarkable in Seattle)
I started making bath bombs

March
"character B has made it to third level. i am a bit surprised that i'm still on character 2."
Spent our anniversary on Lopez Island
Had my first bus ride in over a year
Started playing DJ with background music for the Tuesday/Friday games

April
"C is eligible for vaccine as of yesterday."
I got an electric spinning wheel
Both of us started our covid vaccine series
SIFF was remote and I hated it
I had a health scare
I did a very high-visibility, high-impact project at work
We got a new tent

May
"Concerning Hobbits always lifts my spirits."
Vaccination complete
Dad died (and I spent some time in PA)
I got an improved title/pay bump/stock grant

June
"my mother-in-law wished us a happy holiday today."
We went camping on Shaw Island
I did a bunch of spinning with my new wheel
We watched Ted Lasso
There was a massive heat wave

July
"I finished The Left-handed Booksellers of London and my Kindle let me know there will be a new Old Kingdom book soon."
I went to PA again, this time on a trip that had been planned for months. I got to swim.
I worked on a coding project for work that would impact all of our users and there was a (positive) management shakeup
On one eventful day I had dim sum for the first time in two years, saw a soccer game in person, and my brother-in-law died

August
"C: i voted for the indian"
we have a primary election with two Native candidates for mayor
i get a new fountain pen and inks
i find out that teaberry == wintergreen and i order a plant
i did most of the Carpe Diem challenge

September
"a lot of long-awaited library holds came through for me, some wonderful and one remarkably disappointing."
I finally read ✨Murderbot✨!
The House on the Cerulean Sea 🤮
I go back to the office for the first time

October
"a while ago i complained about how TJ Klune's The House on the Cerulean Sea didn't work for me."
I didn't write a lot - I went to Origins in Columbus and spent time with friends from college. it was planned before covid had started to surge again and i had a lot of conflicted feelings about the whole thing. ultimately it was a wonderful trip.
i get my first covid test - negative.
I see a psychiatrist

November
"apparently the pandemic was hard on the fancy nail nerds."
I start my drug regimen
Thanksgiving plans get scuttled over covid exposure
we made so much turkey stock
I get to see philotera
Stephen Sondheim died

December
I failed to post. It was a hair-on-fire kind of time at work.
I went to the rescheduled ECCC
I had my second covid test - negative
C went to PA for family stuff and that sucked
I ordered a new fountain pen
I bought fountain-pen-friendly notebooks
West Side Story!!!
We had people for Christmas dinner, first time to have more than one guest in almost two years
Minor covid exposure scare (natch) - negative
It snowed on boxing day
I sorted through a bunch of boxes in storage, which led to sorting, packing, and shipping a box of photos to a scanning service
I had debit card fraud - bank caught it, I got a rad new card that looks like a cassette tape out of the deal.

I had a lovely morning today: I met up with mimerki and just_cris for dim sum and it was exquisite. I'm sure part of it was not having any for over a year, but everything was fresh and a perfect expression of its dish. Normally I don't really like the hairy deep-fried balls of shrimp with mayo sauce but damn if they weren't perfectly crispy on the outside and the sauce was fatty and tangy and just so. I am a sucker for sweets and the cart with the bao and sesame balls and egg custard everything* came first ❤️❤️❤️
I am so used to going with a big group that I hadn't registered that most plates come with three pieces; just perfect.

I am worried about the restaurant. It was very empty, especially for a weekend. In the before times it was wall-to-wall families.

I broke my journey there downtown and had time to walk around before getting the train. The business district has really suffered in a way the neighborhoods have not. I remember our coffee shop (which is a tiny in-city chain) said ours was the last to close/first to open around lockdowns because they still had traffic when everyone was working from home. anyway, lots of boarded up storefronts and no people away from the orbit of Pike Place Market. I walked through Post Alley and saw some people had added masks to the gum wall.

After dim sum I killed time at Kinokuniya and the park with the daleks until it was time for the Sounders game. The game was okay (being there was fun, feels like it will end again any moment, not a good result). On the way out my phone went off with a message from Mom: my brother-in-law is dead, and the kids found the body. (they're young adults, my sister isn't in the picture.) Spent the bus ride home chatting with family and recovering from shock.

As I said to mimerki:
Anyway Pat's dead and the Sounders lost but I did get this cute transit card holder wallet that looks like a Shiba Inu

We got home in time to order the kids some grocery gift cards, then get online for continent-spanning D&D. We defeated the angry ghost and it was a good way to wind down.

I was originally supposed to be at a picnic at the time when the death notification came through. I felt bad about fucking my schedule and letting people down, but so glad I didn't have to be in the middle of freeform social interaction when this came down.




*okay, they didn't have the ones that seem to be the Chinese version of filled mochi. I'm not sure if I love the egg or taro ones of those more. Most of the staff don't speak a lot of English so I don't know the actual names of most things or what is in them. Not for anyone with food allergies

my mentor at work turned this article about using the pandemic as a chance to start over into a virtual whiteboard template in order to work through what to keep and what to remove.* so far i'm just populating my quadrants - liked before/liked during, disliked before/disliked during. it's interesting to me that my "disliked before" quadrant is the least populated. not sure if i'm looking at the past with rose-colored glasses or if i had already eliminated a lot of bullshit from my life already.

one thing i hope that i get to keep: the ability to work remotely while traveling. being able to have a long visit with my family but NOT use up my vacation time and have a limited number of hours in the day that i'm required to be socially on is pretty great. *knocks wood* i can afford the plane tickets, so getting rid of the feeling that i could either see my family or do something for myself, resenting most of the trip... it's a game changer.


* he's an extrovert, i've seen his board and it's interesting to see him working through some toxic social and body image stuff, where i'm sad about my filthy house and social video calls.

streaming film festival isn't film festival and deciding to watch feels like an obligation. i don't grudge SIFF the money (that was spent long ago for the 2020 festival, and there's still some left over to kick into 2022) but yeah this kind of sucks.

today when i woke up i wanted two things: to spend time with C and soak up sun on the balcony. i did both of those things and didn't start watching movies until sometime in the afternoon, and then i had a social date and walked the dog and i'm not feeling like watching another today.

Conductivity
doc that follows three students at the Sibelius Academy learning to be conductors. this was very much a Sunday afternoon SIFF experience in that i was tired and there was a lot of nice symphony music and i nodded off a little. it was a fly-on-the-wall piece and it was pretty cool, just not gripping per se. i found myself more caught up in the details of life in Finland (double revolving doors, folks in a swimming hole that seemed to be cut out of the ice) than the actual conducting story.

Truman and Tennessee: An Intimate Conversation
it turns out two popular gay American writers from the 50s were friends. the doc is a narrative of their friendship told by interview footage and audio of actors reading their letters and diaries. as a Theatre Person i wanted to like this more than i did, i found myself most fascinated by seeing Capote age from an ethereally beautiful young man into a bulgy-headed troll.

C is eligible for vaccine as of yesterday. the appointment-hunting experience is frustrating: every location has a different form to fill out, they are all long, they all end in "no appointments available". that's if the site hasn't crashed.

my favorite: the city of Seattle signup is an Office 365 form that gives you a sad message about having reached the maximum number of entries when you click submit.

part of me is really annoyed at the folks who are driving long distances to bumblefuck for shots - as long as they continue to inflate the numbers in the east, the shots will keep getting sent to shit towns where the fools who live there don't want them. and they're taking their big city germs to anti-mask land. and holy shit, talk about lack of equity. the rest of me is like, get your entitled asses out of the city so that we can take your local appointments.