one scone to rule them all

J - and once we charge up the dilythium crystals, we can leave the cloaking device in place until we've beamed aboard W and Dick, who we will drop into a volcano. on film.

M - like the one ring, only better.
(if Sauron poured all his hate and malice and stuff into the Ring, why wasn't he all like "I am the dark lord and I say it is bunny-petting day!"?)

J - (i like to think that hate and malice is just like love. you never run out.)

M - (i've certainly never run out of hate and malice, but i have never tried to forge a ring of ultimate dark power.)

J - (nope, i think you can always make more. i think i've rooted it out, but then it wells up and fills in all the spaces around the love and the happy. then again, not a dark lord. but i think a dark lord would have more potent malice than me.)

M - (well, yes. i suppose if i were a dark lord, my malice would have to be more potent. it's just the word "all". if i put all my socks in the drawer, i have none on my feet.)

J - (but i would steal a pair of C's.)

M - (i do not like Jesse's socks. my socks are better.)

J - yes, but i would still have socked feet.

M - well, true. (i also secretly prefer unsocked feet, even if that means they are colder)

J - (me too. and that's why we're not dark lords.)

M - (i thought it was, like hobbits, we were readily distracted by scones)

J - (mmmmmmmmscones. now i want one.)

M - (see? if the One Ring had been quietly whispering "The scones of Mordor are warm and fluffy," in Bilbo's ear, the whole story would have gone differently)