just saying.

dear fellow bloggers:

i like to read about your thoughts, your mundane and not so mundane lives, your writing projects, your new recipes, etc. i enjoy the occasional meme, especially when they are personally revealing or thought-provoking. i even like it when you share something you think other people should see.

it's your space and all, but check out what percentage of your recent entries has consisted of just links to visit.

i think i've been too much with the memes lately, and i'm going to try to write more, and do less space filling. it's my own little resolution. i've resolved that if i'm too busy or tapped to post i'm going to hold my virtual tongue instead of saying virtually nothing.

taking my medicine

i hate having regular engagements. i don't really like having a responsibility that happens on a certain night each week without fail. i don't appreciate coming home from work and leaving again before i can see C.

i realized tonight that i can't let any of that keep me from going to chorus. no matter how much of a drag it is to get there on time, no matter what i'm missing (House of Flying Daggers, this time) it's always worth my time. the combination of the people with the mental and physical labor of singing pulls me out of my little treadmill and takes me somewhere else. it's a few hours where i truly enjoy being a cog in a machine, and feel like i'm the whole machine at the same time, that when the gears mesh i' m forty voices and the conductor's baton is turning me.

and i've been feeling lame as a section leader. but tonight i was just doing little things, making sure the right people spoke to each other to conduct business, knowing that getting someone a ride home has gained them new friends, and i realized that the job is something other than the music. i know that the music part is coming along. i'll be fine at that, not great, but good enough. and i know the French, damn it.

i was in particular need of hugs, and smiles, and small talk, and loc touching, and those Ginger Newman-Os and cocoa. i got it all. (i could have had more time with you, Q.) and then i sang my way home to C, who brought me the sounds of Shatner, and then told me to go get online :)

otherwise, i'm less than a week from thirty and nowhere i expected to be. i can't say i have no regrets, but what they are changes often enough that they may negate themselves.