shiny object February 7, 2019 at 09:15AM

[ironymaiden]

Gratitude Lists Are Bullsh*t — It Was an "Ingratitude" List That Saved Me the headline is hyperbole, but yes, when you have a reason to be sad you should be allowed to be sad.

Comments

[yourlibrarian]

Yes, the bad things definitely need to be acknowledged (though I find it awfully telling that she didn't think to list her baby among the things she was grateful for -- being a new parent while financially stressed sucks big time). Also, if you don't acknowledge what's wrong, how can you change it? It just becomes a matter of denial which is always convenient for other people.

[ironymaiden]

this is also the failure mode of the Silk Ring Theory (comfort in, dump out) - I had a 2018 where everyone I would normally dump on was at the "comfort in" level on their own thing.

[dhampyresa]

Thank you for the link.

[flamingsword]

I have thinky thoughts about this.

[dorchadas]

That was a great article. I always used to tell my ex "it's okay to be sad" when she would get angry at herself for feeling down, and she had a hard time hearing it because of those societal messages of extreme and and constant positivity.

Lately, I've also been thinking those messages are counterproductive for other reasons, because they shift the focus from structural problems that are causing our misery--like the author's student loan debt and lack of support for mental health care--and reframe it as requiring an individual solution. The problem is with us, not anything outside us, it says, so we just need to change how we think and not, say, make college free.

[robin_iamar]

This article = a breath of fresh air, honestly. Gratitude lists are one tool in the toolbox, but it seems like it's the only tool people are allowed to pick up these days when they talk to their (therapist, life coach, friend, religious/spiritual leader, family). And the thing is, grat-lists are a distraction (because sure you mightn't be able to Fix The Damn Thing right now, but you can at least say 'hey this sucks, if I had resources I could fix it, since I don't, maybe I can ... do this other thing').