the story about the man with the fake head
Feb. 3rd, 2018 11:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ironymaidenbackdated to the right place in the narrative. i had this written and never posted it.
Dad has meningiomas, which grow back to impairment size every 7-10 years. see the braaains tag for some backstory.
i'm heading for PA pre-dawn on Sunday. ticket is booked, ride from the airport is set, i finally knuckled under and bought a real laptop bag.
we're choosing to plan as if dad will survive surgery, so i'll be the one with mom at the hospital.* care rotation is set up with A and D; i'll hand off to A (after she's cleared to travel post-surgery on her eye), A will hand off to D (allowing him to go on his planned vacation). B lives in the area and will pinch-hit as needed.
currently i am most concerned that i could get sick. i feel rough, but i am so emotionally wrecked with worry for my parents and pre-missing C and father-in-law D getting some ugly screening results that i'm not really able to tell the difference between allergies and viruses and stress chemicals.
***
making things to hold back chaos:
i've been obsessing over packing knitting for the trip. i think i have myself down to three projects: the sweater that will be good chart work for the plane and a nearly mindless project as soon as i get into the body, the very portable socks in the prettiest yarn, and the very portable cowl that is so soft. i quickly talked myself out of packing my wheel (the sidekick is wee enough to possibly be a carryon, but i would have to check the rest of my stuff) or a spindle (the mindlessness is good, dropping and damaging my purpleheart spindle because of stress butterfingers would be bad).
clothes:
when i do one of these trips, where shit could go horribly wrong, i always debate about whether to wear favorite clothes or not. am i willing for this item to be the thing i was wearing when dad died? vs shouldn't everything i bring give me joy and make me feel confident?
*my siblings are half-siblings; their father died of cancer when they were kids. i'm not discounting their relationship with dad (mom remarried while they were still pretty young and he is beloved) but i do what i can to keep them out of the hospital. i'm also the most fascinated/least squicked by medical stuff.
Dad has meningiomas, which grow back to impairment size every 7-10 years. see the braaains tag for some backstory.
i'm heading for PA pre-dawn on Sunday. ticket is booked, ride from the airport is set, i finally knuckled under and bought a real laptop bag.
we're choosing to plan as if dad will survive surgery, so i'll be the one with mom at the hospital.* care rotation is set up with A and D; i'll hand off to A (after she's cleared to travel post-surgery on her eye), A will hand off to D (allowing him to go on his planned vacation). B lives in the area and will pinch-hit as needed.
currently i am most concerned that i could get sick. i feel rough, but i am so emotionally wrecked with worry for my parents and pre-missing C and father-in-law D getting some ugly screening results that i'm not really able to tell the difference between allergies and viruses and stress chemicals.
***
making things to hold back chaos:
i've been obsessing over packing knitting for the trip. i think i have myself down to three projects: the sweater that will be good chart work for the plane and a nearly mindless project as soon as i get into the body, the very portable socks in the prettiest yarn, and the very portable cowl that is so soft. i quickly talked myself out of packing my wheel (the sidekick is wee enough to possibly be a carryon, but i would have to check the rest of my stuff) or a spindle (the mindlessness is good, dropping and damaging my purpleheart spindle because of stress butterfingers would be bad).
clothes:
when i do one of these trips, where shit could go horribly wrong, i always debate about whether to wear favorite clothes or not. am i willing for this item to be the thing i was wearing when dad died? vs shouldn't everything i bring give me joy and make me feel confident?
*my siblings are half-siblings; their father died of cancer when they were kids. i'm not discounting their relationship with dad (mom remarried while they were still pretty young and he is beloved) but i do what i can to keep them out of the hospital. i'm also the most fascinated/least squicked by medical stuff.
