validation

[ironymaiden]

i put C on a plane again tonight, and he'll be gone for an indefinite amount of time.

i will miss him desperately. as noted previously, i don't need him in order to function and in some ways things are easier without him around. but i want him around.

i have felt some existential horror at the not-needing. what if C has no utility?

the real question is, why do i think that he has to be needed rather than wanted? relevant article: author posits that we are all conditioned to value men solely for their utility.

Comments

Utility

[coffeedaiv.livejournal.com]

Without having read the article, I would suggest, by way of corollary that men are culturally programmed to be useful. That our perceived value, to ourselves and our society, is a function of what we can do and how well (thus, it is not enough to be able to do everything, we have to be able to do everything better than everybody else). Or, rather, do everything "important"; raising children is not important. Getting Money is important.

I probably should go read that article. If only so that I can speak competently about it.

[varina8.livejournal.com]

The section on men in senior communities strick me as right on the money. I think this is part of why illness hits men so hard; they have, as he said, no Plan B. Being in mneed strikes at the core of their beings.