worthy opponent
Nov. 12th, 2008 10:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ironymaideni realized i hadn't written about kung fu for a while. due to traveling i've had a spotty attendance record. and i haven't done as much actual practicing on my own as i have thought about practicing on my own.
a part of me compares myself to people who started around the same time as me or after who now know a few more moves. but that voice is surprisingly quiet - i thought that i would hate self/be jealous and cranky/get crazy competitive. but that's not what happens. the atmosphere of the school doesn't stir that up. i don't mind staying in the second row until i get things right.
tonight was my first class in a couple weeks. after an absence i feel apprehensive, self-conscious. but i walk in the door, people smile and say hello, i find myself stretching with my foot up on the beam beside sifu who is doing the same. i slide into my warm up routine without a thought, and drift into my place for the beginning of class. lately sifu doesn't have to call us to order, we're just all there when it's time to start. i don't know exactly how that started happening, i was never present for a discussion, it just feels like the natural thing to do.
today's drills were hard on me. at least now i'm in the place where i see what i am supposed to be getting from a particular drill, and i have enough endurance and muscle memory that i am able to be mindful about my technique without the act of thinking screwing me up. (that's a big deal. generally if i think too much about a physical thing i am doing i fumble.)
i'm still doing very controlled sparring, i-will-punch-this-many-times-while-you-block, now-you-will-punch-this-many-times. a lot more discussion and getting things right happening than speed. rough work for me today since while i like working with M (and her meaty arms don't hurt like skinny gal H's bony ones - thus far i've been more bruised by H's bony arms than by big guy D who totally hits and blocks harder) M is significantly shorter than i am. i know i am more likely to fight someone who is not my size than someone well-matched like C. i just do much better if i'm the smaller one. doing an exercise where i am supposed to be landing blows in the center of a shorter body is a bitch. (i expect in a situation i would just take headshots? strategy stuff is a constant background process that turns up little revelations every now and then but mostly i don't have enough experience yet to come up with results.) it does force me to drop lower into my stance, which is good. as long as i really drop instead of hunching forward, which is useless and unstable. i'm trying to unlearn years of bad habits that came from being the tallest kid in my class. sigh.
i shouldn't bitch too much about the height thing. sifu had us start adding kicks, and i'm not only taller than M but more flexible. so i had no trouble tapping her ribs, while she was straining to hit the top of my thigh. sifu praised me after class for my improved balance and control. so i feel good about that.
i seem to be able to stick to thinking about my own journey rather than obsessive comparison, which in many ways is a new behavior for me. that may be even better for me than the exercise.
a part of me compares myself to people who started around the same time as me or after who now know a few more moves. but that voice is surprisingly quiet - i thought that i would hate self/be jealous and cranky/get crazy competitive. but that's not what happens. the atmosphere of the school doesn't stir that up. i don't mind staying in the second row until i get things right.
tonight was my first class in a couple weeks. after an absence i feel apprehensive, self-conscious. but i walk in the door, people smile and say hello, i find myself stretching with my foot up on the beam beside sifu who is doing the same. i slide into my warm up routine without a thought, and drift into my place for the beginning of class. lately sifu doesn't have to call us to order, we're just all there when it's time to start. i don't know exactly how that started happening, i was never present for a discussion, it just feels like the natural thing to do.
today's drills were hard on me. at least now i'm in the place where i see what i am supposed to be getting from a particular drill, and i have enough endurance and muscle memory that i am able to be mindful about my technique without the act of thinking screwing me up. (that's a big deal. generally if i think too much about a physical thing i am doing i fumble.)
i'm still doing very controlled sparring, i-will-punch-this-many-times-while-you-block, now-you-will-punch-this-many-times. a lot more discussion and getting things right happening than speed. rough work for me today since while i like working with M (and her meaty arms don't hurt like skinny gal H's bony ones - thus far i've been more bruised by H's bony arms than by big guy D who totally hits and blocks harder) M is significantly shorter than i am. i know i am more likely to fight someone who is not my size than someone well-matched like C. i just do much better if i'm the smaller one. doing an exercise where i am supposed to be landing blows in the center of a shorter body is a bitch. (i expect in a situation i would just take headshots? strategy stuff is a constant background process that turns up little revelations every now and then but mostly i don't have enough experience yet to come up with results.) it does force me to drop lower into my stance, which is good. as long as i really drop instead of hunching forward, which is useless and unstable. i'm trying to unlearn years of bad habits that came from being the tallest kid in my class. sigh.
i shouldn't bitch too much about the height thing. sifu had us start adding kicks, and i'm not only taller than M but more flexible. so i had no trouble tapping her ribs, while she was straining to hit the top of my thigh. sifu praised me after class for my improved balance and control. so i feel good about that.
i seem to be able to stick to thinking about my own journey rather than obsessive comparison, which in many ways is a new behavior for me. that may be even better for me than the exercise.
