who is a Bad Feminist?

i don't love Hillary Clinton.

i think it started with her name.

When she came to me and said she wanted to change, I could see in her eyes that she had made the decision to do it. And I said, “I do not want you resenting me. I would a lot rather lose the election than lose you.” She said, “I’m not going anywhere.” I said, “I know, but I don’t want you to resent this for the rest of your life. You made this decision when you were a child. I like it. I approve of the decision. I don’t care about it.” And she said, “Look, Bill, we cannot—this is stupid! We shouldn’t lose the election over this issue. We shouldn’t run this risk. What if it’s one per cent of the vote? What if it’s two per cent? You might win or lose the election by two per cent.”

i remembered this as being something that happened when Bill was running for president. it actually happened when i was in elementary school.

1. in 1992 she was getting picked at for something she had done ten years before, and that something was in response to some loser who couldn't find something more substantial on her husband.


2. she was willing to give up her identity for a lousy 2%.

item 1 is part of the treatment she gets as an uppity woman.
item 2 is how her political brain works.

i don't like how her political brain works.

i'm aware that the media is ridiculously hard on her. i know that there are shitheads in both parties that openly use gendered slurs in addition to the dogwhistles. that's all wrong, and i call people on it whenever i can.

i've spent a lot of time checking myself about this. i'm aware of my internalized misogyny and the various ways that it manifests.

so i've done the work. i've compared the actual votes and i've read policy statements and i've taken the various platform tests where statements aren't attributed until the end and there are several places where i genuinely don't agree with her.

i can tell that many women in my life are Disappointed With Me. i'm sorry. i'm not rejecting you. i'm rejecting the Patriot Act and the Iraq War and doing anything to win.

***

no one on the Republican side this time is remotely acceptable. of course i'll vote for her if she's the nominee.