sanctuary

pixxelpuss got me started again on trying to watch Angel. i've made it through Sanctuary thus far. my gripes with the series remain; it's not bad television, it's simply not as well-crafted as BtVS. (for example, a regular character dies and his replacement appears in the very next episode and immediately begins uttering his lines. ew.)
still, the end of Sanctuary is exceedingly well-crafted. in context that scene is brutal. C put his finger on it... they aren't lying, and every statement is correct. when placed in a situation where they could collapse into a weepy heap of love, longing, and self-pity they bludgeon each other in a perverse act of self-preservation. years ago, i would have been unable to understand why they would do something so stupid (you love each other, say you're sorry and the separation's been horrible, bummer about that curse, big hugs. duh.) today, i see why it happened. in the future, i hope to learn...something else. i kept deleting different versions of the line, but how can i expect to know what that situation will mean to me in five years?
the trappings of the fantastic let us enlarge the mundane into monsters that our dramatic proxies can slay. i don't know what it means that our invincible heroes can destroy a giant wyrm or pull a psychopath back from the brink, but have no control over their hearts.