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touch my monkey
Jul. 2nd, 2004 08:11 pmtouching people in America is complicated. sometimes i still feel like i don't know all the rules.
my parents continue to be very affectionate, and my childhood was filled with hugs, kisses, and hand-holding. i still often take a hand or an arm when walking with one of my parents. i hugged my friends all the time until my best friend and i started kindergarten and she told me i shouldn't do it anymore. she didn't last much past that year. another time i was making a point in conversation and i laid my hand on the arm of the boy i was talking to, and he recoiled. it took me some time to understand that my unconscious gesture was a violation.
i think about it every now and again. the friendships and events past that glow in my memory are the ones that had a heavy tactile element. i don't know if it's because i experience a deep sense of well-being and connectedness from companionable contact, or because i was getting along with someone so well that we could brush aside the physical reserve that seems to be expected of us.( studies show that baby monkeys always choose huggable cloth mommy, even if wire mommy feeds them )
i find living without snuggling akin to starvation. if a political candidate offered me a definite national increase in snuggling, i'd vote for her/him.
my parents continue to be very affectionate, and my childhood was filled with hugs, kisses, and hand-holding. i still often take a hand or an arm when walking with one of my parents. i hugged my friends all the time until my best friend and i started kindergarten and she told me i shouldn't do it anymore. she didn't last much past that year. another time i was making a point in conversation and i laid my hand on the arm of the boy i was talking to, and he recoiled. it took me some time to understand that my unconscious gesture was a violation.
i think about it every now and again. the friendships and events past that glow in my memory are the ones that had a heavy tactile element. i don't know if it's because i experience a deep sense of well-being and connectedness from companionable contact, or because i was getting along with someone so well that we could brush aside the physical reserve that seems to be expected of us.( studies show that baby monkeys always choose huggable cloth mommy, even if wire mommy feeds them )
i find living without snuggling akin to starvation. if a political candidate offered me a definite national increase in snuggling, i'd vote for her/him.
